


Wait For Me

by Crown_of_Winterthorne



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst, Captain America: Civil War (Movie) Spoilers, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-10
Updated: 2016-05-10
Packaged: 2018-06-07 13:31:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 854
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6806896
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Crown_of_Winterthorne/pseuds/Crown_of_Winterthorne
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They always promised each other impossible things.</p><p>A little something that I couldn't get out of my head after the ending of Civil War.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Wait For Me

Their time together is short. Tony has surely gotten the letter by now, discovered what they’ve done. Debts needed to be paid. Friendships honored. Now Bucky is paying a higher price.

It’s the cost of safety. His own and Steve’s. A price—a promise—that will keep Steve from worrying. From being used and manipulated again, their friendship held hostage to the whims of others less honorable.

Steve doesn’t want to think on that. Not while they have this oh-so limited and precious time together. Fighting side by side these last few days… it felt like old times. Even now, face to face in the darkened privacy of their room in the Wakandan palace. In bodies that had never known each other—Steve, fit and strong; Bucky with eyes haunted and his left arm missing—it still feels familiar.

Steve leans their foreheads together, his fingers knotted tight into long hair. He’s said too many good-byes. Doesn’t want to say this one.

“I never wanted this,” he confesses, feeling guilt heavy on his shoulders. It seems the only talent he’d kept since waking from the ice was a singular ability to fuck everything up.

“It’s what we have,” Bucky counters, no condemnation, no platitudes. Just the truth.

Honesty is refreshing. Steve needs that as much as the familiar press of Buck’s mouth against his own.

They don’t say the obvious things, the “I missed yous” or “I love yous” or even the “there has to be another ways.” None of those phrases need to be spoken because they both know. They did. They do. There isn’t.

They always spoke better in deed than in word. They share promises with hands and lips and tongue, skin to skin and breath to breath. They relearn each other’s bodies, taking this time afforded them to create new memories against the coming nightmares and loneliness.

When it’s over and they’re laying weak and trembling in each other’s arms, neither is able to form words, even if they had needed them.

Steve runs his hand through Bucky’s hair, finding that he likes the length. Bucky is draped over him in a way that he could never do before and Steve finds that he likes that too. They’re closer in height and figure now and Bucky’s weight doesn’t crush him the way it would have done in the past. He’s still bigger—only just—and it’s reassuring. They’re more in sync than ever, matching their breathing, their pulses. Their thoughts too, which Steve knows only because Bucky is the one to break the silence, offering promises that are unlikely to be kept. Impossible things. Things that they both want too badly.

“It will be okay, Steve.”

“Don’t lie to me, Buck.”

“I’m not,” he sits up on his elbow, shifting as though he meant to stroke Steve’s face before remembering that he didn’t have a hand anymore. His face darkens, loses the bit of fragile happiness he’d gained while they made love.

Steve kisses him, trying to take away the expression of loss and pain haunting those pale eyes. It’s unbearable to see the shadows and memories cross that handsome face.

“It won’t be like before,” Bucky leans into the hand Steve puts on his cheek, his frown easing only slightly. “I’m going into cryo as me. I won’t be coming out expecting to be used. I’ll be safe.”

“You’ll come out as you,” Steve agrees, needing to say it. Needing to believe it.

“Yeah. And when I do, I’ll be able to _stay_ me.”

“ _My_ Bucky.”

“You got it,” he smiles and there’s a spark there that Steve hadn’t thought to see again. The sadness is still there, but so is the will to fight.

They settle back down, this time with Steve laying his head on Bucky’s chest, listening to his heart beat. It’s strong and steady, a lullaby beneath his ear.

He thinks of his mistakes, the would haves and should haves, thinks of his losses. So many of them, so many coming fast and recent. His team—his Avengers. Peggy. Tony. He doesn’t want to count Bucky among them. Not again, not so soon after regaining him. He doesn’t want to give him up at all, but he knows it's—not for the best, never that—the only acceptable option.

Better to leave him safe in Wakanda, like some sort of dangerous Sleeping Beauty, than dead at the hands of any number of governments.

“If you change your mind before tomorrow,” he says softly, “don’t leave without me.”

“I couldn’t. The last time I tried to leave you behind you did something stupid.”

Steve smiles, closes his eyes. “Joined the Army. I remember.”

“I’m not going anywhere,” he promises, finding the curve of Steve’s spine with clever fingers. They have time left; dawn is still far away. Steve wants only to stay in the curve of his arms for now, calmed by his touch, his heartbeat, his impossible promises. Bucky doesn’t press, just adds, “I’ll wait for you this time.”

“I still might do something stupid.”

“Then you better make sure I don’t wait long.”

—END—


End file.
